Revenge of the Fangirl, ch. 8

Honestly, Erin’s too caring. She really was. She coulda been writing a fanfiction right now, or practicing her Hellsing fanart. Honestly.

To be completely honest, this was the best-case scenario. Erin really always knew that she had no chance of finding Ren before Ren found Gaara-slut. It just wasn’t feasible. If she wanted to be honest, she was surprised that she’d managed to find Ren at all.

But was it too late? She could see Ren up at the top of that memorial statue, but Ren obviously had her mind elsewhere.

“What the bloody hell is that wanker doing with Michelle?!” someone off to the side shouted. Erin looked over at the shouter, who was pretty in a generic way, and cleared her throat.

“Hey you!” Erin called.

Generic looked over and wrinkled her nose. “What’s with the cat?”

“Hey, pretty momma,” Edgar purred.

Erin shook her head and asked Generic what was going on.

“What does it </i>look</i> like’s going on, idiot? That Sandcest fangirl’s got Michelle! Idiot!”

“Sandcest?” Erin looked back up to the monument to see that Ren was in fact in a Temari costume, yelling about how Gaara was hers. That couldn’t be good for her image.

It looked like it was all over for the Gaara-sl…for Michelle. But suddenly, Ren was facing Erin, both of their brown eyes blazing.

“Dude,” Generic murmured to her, “she’s looking at you!”

Ren’s head kept snapping back from Erin to Michelle and back again. Deliberating? Plotting? Freaking out? Erin couldn’t tell. Ever sense her laptop had been stolen by a mysterious cloud of smoke, nothing made much sense anymore.

“Hey, do you have a megaphone?” Erin asked no one in particular.

After a chorus of ‘no’s, some kind soul said, “Well, sure, I do.”

“Gimme,” Erin said, still staring at the panicking redhead and bleach blonde at the top of the monumental horse. Erin quickly snatched up the megaphone and shouted into it.

“Hey, you! Ren!”

The one with the crossbow, the redhead, stared at Erin again. “What are you doing here?” she shouted down.

Visiting my dear aunt Sally, Erin thought ruefully. “I got your Note, Ren. I understand your pain!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh! Now listen, Ren…if you hurt that fangirl, the consequences are going to be worse than being locked in a room full of LeeGaa fangirls!”

“Hey! LeeGaa is love!” Michelle cried from her vulnerable position. Ren and Erin both gave her the Death Look.

Ren, distracted, looked back at the Gaara-slut. “Defend LeeGaa again and I won’t take you out nearly as painlessly as I was going to before.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Erin shouted, causing Ed to dig his claws into her shoulder. “You’re sort of defeating the purpose of me being here! Couldja put the crossbow down please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Can I shoot her with a gun instead?”

“No.”

“Can I hit her over the head with a crowbar?”

“No!”

“Can I stick my hand down her throat and pull out her small intestine?”

“Ren! How many methods of murder to you know?!

“As many as I need to.”

“That’s it! I’m coming up!”

“Nuuuuuuuu! You’ll ruin mah plan!”

“That’s sort of the point…And perhaps you don’t realize this yet,” Erin grumbled as she latched onto the stone, “but there are still people after you. That little spectacle at the Con wasn’t taken lightly!”

“OMG,” the Gaara-lusting-over-LeeGaa-GaaLee-shipping-fake-blonde-slut said as Erin climbed. “You go to Cons? You’re such a little loser! I could tell by your outfit!”

Erin heard a shriek, and was pretty sure that Ren had decided to fire.

“Quit wiggling! You made me miss!”

“Quit shooting at me! You made me piss my pants!”

“Bwahahahahahahaaaa!”

“Ren! Cut it with the sinister laughter, please!” Erin shouted as she straddled the horse’s tail and wondered if she was flashing her underwear to everyone below.

And then the helicopters showed up. Crap.

You know how in movies, when the plot thickens, the weather always gets really sucky? Yeah well, clichés like that keep me young.

So it suddenly got really dark and windy. Erin finally climbed to Ren’s level, and joined her in watching the helicopters buzz around the park.

“I’m suddenly very interested in my own self-preservation,” Ren mumbled, her eyes widening.

“Really? When did you decide that? Just now?”

“Yup.” She then proceeded in nudging the Gaara-slut off of the horse with her foot. Neither of them bothered to notice if she had landed on the concrete of had been caught. They were much too interested in the giant net that was landing right on top of them.

So. The police have FINALLY arrived. And they dropped a giant net on Erin and Ren. What will our heroes do now that they’ve been apprehended? Will they survive jail, and if so, for how long? Why is the innocent Erin going to jail at all?! Will they confiscate Ed? What about Ren’s crossbow? Can Ren SURVIVE without her crossbow? Find out the answers to these questions and more, next time on…REVENGE OF THE FANGIRL!!!!!!!!!!!</b>